To plagiarise Martin Luther King -- "I have a dream"

Am sitting here reading some garbage about Uncle Gordon’s speech to the CBI where ‘he is taking the "long-term" decisions needed so Britain can meet future challenges’

Should one be cynical, one would consider this to mean that he is procrastinating yet again and deferring any decisions until he recruits a plethora of pencil neck civil servants with a cumulative IQ similar to that of the lemming.

An educated guess would suggest it will provide a positive report just in time for the next statutory general election deadline (lets face it wee Gordon didn’t have the Cojones (Cahoneys) to call an election a few weeks ago as he lost quite a few polling points within a week – ‘Wee hint here, better losing polling points than 40% of the populations personal details’)

An no doubt this report will provide a long term strategy (aka procrastination) just to buy him time to wreak another 5 years of lies and bull to this once great nation.

Then he can do another DEFRA, and pay out £300M of redundancies to the useless bunch of pencil necks in redundancy and pension entitlements.

Mind you, It will be interesting to know whether by then his fellow Scots will have successfully followed their strategy for seceding from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. [editors note……. For the English people who went to comprehensive schools, Seceding is defined as “To withdraw formally from membership in political alliance”]

Even worse, Wales may follow suit, and then given the demographics of the Tory hinterland, there may never ever be another Labour government in our “Green and Pleasant Land”.. Bet you David “I’m yer man” Cameron is getting aroused at this thought as he will effectively have a job for the rest of his two-faced life.

But I have an escape route for uncle Gordon. Two Jags or should that read “Two Shags” unsuccessfully attempted in his bureaucratic time to push the idea of clustering England into differing economic areas, where Labour could gerrymander the right to follow wee Tony’s cronyism policies. He failed, well rather he didn’t fail, the taxpayer footed the bill for his meanderings.

What this country needs is a dictatorship. I have the perfect candidate. Pervez Musharraf.

1. He is acceptable to George Dubya in the ineptly named “War on Terror”
2. He does have Cojones (Cahoneys).
3. He just resigned from his job as chief of the army of a country whose military personnel don’t gripe because they don’t get quilted Andrex toilet paper supplied to them free of charge. And best of all he is a muslim who speaks excellent English (much better than those from a comprehensive education background)
4. He would happily gaol (jail) those politicians who are good at their careers… Yes you guessed it, those ones who lie every time they open their mouths.

a) Ohhhh… I thought the 600k donation was legitimate

b) My husband and I split up, just before the police questioned him about accepting bribes from the Italian PM, yet a few months later he sneaked out of my flat in the morning after calling in to borrow a cup of Daz to whitewash him

c) Its just pure coincidence that Mr X got a knighthood, but I waited until his cheque cleared

d) Its just a pity that Bill Clinton wasn’t an English MP, or the top quote would be “I did not have sex with that woman”

So, there you go, perfect solution, Uncle Pervez as numero uno, and for a bit of sport put Nick Griffin from the BNP in as the official opposition. Think of the fringe benefits. Instead of watching crap reality shows, and telly competitions specifically made for the masses such as “I’m wanting to be a Celebrity, but I hate it here, but willing to prostitute myself for the publicity”, we could have live broadcasts of “Dictators question time from Westminster”

Instead of questions fired across the “Floor of the House”, it would be lead bullets. I’m heading out now to get my supply of microwaveable popcorn, as it would be compulsive viewing. I wonder what odds Ladbrokes would offer on deaths/ injury at each of these events.

Even better, I’d ask the Northern Ireland representatives to join in on the act and make it a tripartite battle. After all, there a quite a few unemployed hitmen from across the water who could get their ten minutes of fame with a National TV audience, and not have to go to Australia to lick rodents anuses, and eat live maggots in the pursuit of infamy.

But I’ve forgotten an even bigger battle. Sky and Virgin would be at loggerheads over the rights to broadcast. ITV wouldn’t have a look in, as lets face it, all protagonists would quite happily ship Ant and Dec to Guantanemo for a new TV series called “40 lashes or hanging - take your pick” (or should that be prick)

Inane Thoughts

As I venture into this wild and seemingly twittish world of blogging, I ask myself WHY??????

Surely there has to be more than life than committing ones rants and raves to the public domain. Of course there is, but yet one considers it an opportunity and a platform to educate others into not making the same mistakes and having the same trials and tribulations that one does in what is relatively a short life (and if I don't relinquish the habit of 60 Regal King Size a day, life will be severely curtailed).

However , the short term thoughts concerning about whom I may make comment , before the politically correct brigade (and those one step up from the evolutionary chain of cockroaches [aka solicitors/attorneys]) begin asserting their liberal legislative supported bull with threrats of litigation fills be with both woe and sadness regarding the state of the country, and also a feeling of "go boil your dammed heads with male genitals sticking outta yer foreheads".

Come back the good old days where the squire could take a lily livered git, enjoin him to the bridle reins of a 15 hands stallion and chase him over the moors, over gorse, rocks and even better through rat urine infested waters.

Rather than set up some blog site, I had intended registering a domain name, but yet have no clue as to which would be more apt. A quick sortie into domain name registration did afford the following possibilities ( replace asterixes if over 18). If under 18, go and do your school homework.

thiscountryisf**ked.com
mybossisaw**ker.com

Amazingly, the first domain was available, yet, the second one had been taken. Now is that not a statement about society.

So who can I actually make comment on????? Probably the archetypal man and wife in middle England with 2.4 children who works 9 to 5 in a 2 up 2 down, as a civil servant and a safe government pension, I am probably ok. If I mention, ethnic people, or those with homosexual leanings, or the disabled, or any other grouping with a lobby at Westminster, Uncle Gordon will send down the full force of his myriad of different PC groups to my door.

Let the taxpayer foot the bill for all of you to decide whether I should be

a) a burden on the NHS as a mental patient (oops sorry, care in the community means I can get out next week, unless I have a knife, I can get out tomorrow and attack someone)

b) spirited to Guantanemo to Gordons godfather Dubya, just in case I have a second cousin who decided to follow Allah

c) persecuted under the anti smoking regulations cause I lent some doctor my lighter in arrivals at a certain scottish airport cause the dickheads at departure security assumed i was a risk.

d) jailed for doing 41 in a 40 mile per hour zone, as its easier for the pigs ( sorry police) to sit behind a hedge and catch someone on their way to work to earn money to pay taxes to pay their wages than be on the frontline against hoodies

The list is endless, and hence this blogspot may disappear as the idea of choosing the available domain is too great an enticement. However, I am making this post just to see if censorship does apply on the net on an international basis. Remember no-one owns the net except for certain governments trying to censor. Lime the oxygen in the air that is available to all, freedom should be for everyone, safety should be paramount for all, but as George Orwell suggested "Some are more equal than others".

Funnily he was talking about a totallitarian state, not a democracy. Both the USA and the UK are never ending in their defence of being the democratic leaders of this small inoucuous blue planet. Yet there is more democracy in a pack of Hyenas on the African plains.

At least there, one knows where one stands. I'd post Uncle Gordon a letter with his failures as a PM, but there is more likelihood of me successfully posting a letter to Santa Claus than me posting in a CD version of my gripes and getting an acknowledgement that it has been received.